Partner Organization: Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

One of my absolute favorite non-profit organizations is Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.  When I was pregnant with Elizabeth 6 years ago, it was just in it's infancy.  A person suggested that I look in to having photographs taken at the hospital after she was born by one of their volunteers.  I will confess that the idea initially sounded uncomfortable and weird.  I had many fears about how she would look, particularly if she was stillborn.  At the time, the handful of webpages I could find of other babies with Potter's Syndrome, none had good photos and some of their babies had pretty pronounced physical quirks.

A few weeks down the road, as I started to realize that this was going to be our only opportunity to make memories with our baby, I finally went to the organization webpage and searched for photographers in my area.  The search yielded exactly one person for the entire state of Utah.  And she happens to live just a few blocks away from me.  What are the chances??  I contacted her, and was immediately reassured by her kind and welcoming nature.

Things got a little mixed up once we went to the hospital.  I made the mistake of not letting her know that I was headed in to Labor and Delivery.  (As a photographer now, I sincerely appreciate as much lead time as possible so that I can make arrangements to leave my kids to go do a session.)   I simply put on my birth plan to have the nurses contact her once I'd delivered.  Well, they messed up.  A couple hours in to Elizabeth's three hours with us, I asked about it, and the nurse got flustered and said she hadn't been able to reach Julie.  We called her ourselves, but by that point, our doctor had taken several photos on our camera, and I told her to not worry about coming, that we had plenty.  This is a mistake that I still regret to this day.  If there's one thing I've learned, you can never have too many photos!  It's your only chance to document a precious time.  Julie felt so bad, and offered to photograph our keepsakes from the hospital, retouch the photos we had taken, and come to the funeral home.

Julie did a beautiful, amazing job on the photos she took at the funeral home.  I am SO grateful that she came and did that for us.  Again, I was afraid of how Elizabeth would look once she had been prepared by the mortician, and we were pleasantly surprised to find that she looked like a gorgeous little doll.

Elizabeth in the hands of her Grandparents

What I didn't know at the time is that we were the very first family to contact Julie.  She'd heard about NILMDTS and signed up a few months prior, but hadn't gotten any calls.  Over time, the hospitals in our area have come to realize what a priceless and compassionate gift we are able to offer the families, and on average, our area coordinators field 300 or so calls per year.  A year ago, I finally got brave enough (after much practice with photoshop and my camera + external flash) to start doing sessions myself.

Not only do our photographers go to the hospitals at any time of the night or day to do a private photosession, but they edit the images.  This is a huge deal.  Many of the babies need quite a bit of retouching in order to help the families remember them in the best possible way.  A disc is provided to the family with images, and usually a slideshow as well, for no charge.  For an average photosession that I do with a baby that doesn't have very problematic skin, it's an 8-10 hour investment of my time, including travel to and from the hospital, shooting time, and editing.  For a difficult editing session, or a session with a large extended family and a higher number of images, that can easily double.  Photographers are responsible for providing their own camera equipment, discs, labels, mailing costs, etc.

NILMDTS has grown from a small handful of photographers to literally thousands of volunteers all over the country.  The organization runs primarily on donations, and has a small staff to manage the volunteer applications, session paperwork, training, etc.  Julie is now serving as a volunteer board member and trainer.  If you are interested in becoming an affiliated photographer, wander around their webpage, and then send me an email if you have further questions.  I am happy to teach anyone what I know in order to facilitate them becoming an infant bereavement photographer.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness month, and October 15th in particular is a day that we remember our angels.  If you're looking for a wonderful place to donate money in honor of the angels in your life, please consider NILMDTS.

Welcome!

After the KUTV news segment aired on Wednesday, I have been inundated with so many wonderful offers to help.  I am thrilled!  This little grassroots project of mine that I took on five years ago as a way to honor my daughter  is ready to grow into something great.  With your help, we can do amazing things and serve far more angel families than I have been able to up to this point.

 Elizabeth Jane is the reason I started all of this.  We didn't know whether she was going to be a boy or a girl because the complete lack of fluid made ultrasound imaging very difficult.  I finally got up the guts to purchase boy and girl outfits to take to the hospital about a month after the initial ultrasound, feeling an urgency to have something on hand.  Once she was born, I realized that I wanted to keep the clothes she wore while she was alive, which meant that immediately after we were discharged from the hospital, we had to stop off at Babies R Us to look for a burial outfit.

 No one should ever have to do that.  Period.  The closest thing we could find that fit her petite little less than three pound frame was a newborn size sweater that fit her like a dress, and we had to roll the sleeves inside.  The pink shirt underneath is a newborn size undershirt.

 Wrapping my beautiful girl up for the last time.  My older kids helped me choose the flannel for this blanket, and I made them matching patchwork blankets in the same size.

I am eternally grateful to Julie Williams, for taking these photos for us at the funeral home.  

~~~

It's going to take me a few days to get things really rolling on this blog, so I hope that you will subscribe or check back in frequently.  My intention is to post links to patterns, as well as resources about how to start a sewing group in your own area.  I have had dozens of offers for help from people that live outside of my geographical area, and I would love to see you all serve in your community.

The wonderful thing about this sort of volunteering is that it can be done entirely at your own speed.  If you have a lot of energy and time on your hands for a few days, then work your little heart out.  If life gets busy and you need to set it aside for a few months, no worries.  The need is constant.  We'll still be here when you're ready to come back.

What I can tell you from personal experience both as the mom of an angel and from my service as a Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep affiliated photographer is that the items you provide can literally turn the worst day of someone's life around into one of peace and closure.  Having something beautiful to dress and wrap their baby in is a gift of immeasurable value.  Particularly in the cases of sudden stillbirths and micropreemies, the parents are unprepared with anything appropriately sized.

What you contribute will make a difference, and my belief is that everyone can be taught to do at least some aspect of the crafting.  So round up a bunch of friends, go shopping for supplies, and set to work making clothes for angels.  You will be blessed for your efforts.